I WAS A LITTLE GIRL

 

I was a little girl once.

With thoughts, so pure, so clean.

I was a little girl once.

My God had different dreams.

My God, a parent, lost in pain.

He’d given in to fear.

Now I am left with only shame.

His slate is wiped, it’s clear.

His stare a dagger in my side.

His voice the sound of hate.

His touch, as heavy as his pride.

Eat all that’s on your plate!

The use of fear his only gift.

Violence fills his soul.

He makes me sick, his face I spit.

His God, his love, control...

With hate, a word, too kind to speak.

He creeps into my bed.

His face imprinted in my sleep.

I want him hurting, dead.

I’ll tie his hands, his mouth, his feet.

With bat in hands, raised high.

I’ll beat him bloody, feels so sweet.

It’s all his loss tonight.

 

 

His bleeding body, not enough.

Revenge not even owned.

He’s in my blood, below, above.

My world, his face is burned.

 

 

I hurt myself to feel the pain

I hate this world that turns.

My ghosts, they dance, they keep me sane.

My will to live, it burns.

 

 

The people living in my shell. 

They laugh at me, at night.

This girl was built in devils hell.

To beat me is your right?

 

 

I’ll dance for you, I’ll be your toy.

I’m yours to own, to use.

Iv’e lost all worth, all faith, all joy.

Where was my right to choose?

 

 

There is no jewel beneath this shell.

Just sand, and grit, and dirt.

Don’t be fooled by this girls spell.

All she owns is hurt.

 

 

Is death the only peace that’s real?

God take me, here, and now.

Grant me the gift, how not to feel.

To let me live, but how?

 

 

I paint the pictures in my mind.

Each footstep, breaks the spell.

To me, I’ll give, and I’ll be kind.

Release me from my hell.

 

 

You think you’ve won. The games not through.

With silence, lights of hope.

I’m not dead yet, and this is true.

I own the strength to cope.

 

 

As I lay my head to rest,

the sun burns in the sky.

A ray of light, builds its nest.

In the corner of my eye.

And with that warmth, I finally feel.

God has a place for me.

Of pain, and hurt, one day will heal.

Theres so much more to see.

A father’s love is lost tonight.

Or was it never there?

Acceptance steals the will to fight.

I give me love to share.

Children's laughter, clean, and new.

A moments peace, I hold.

I’m of my making, hope shines through.

He’ll never own my soul.

 

 

I am a little girl today.

I own this day, it’s mine.

The sun will shine, and it will stay.

On me, its warmth will shine.

 

 

I am a little girl today.

A grown up’s world I take.

I am a little girl today.

My world is mine to make.